Benjamin F. Sands, Jr.

obituary

Benjamin F. Sands, Jr. – 85, a long-time resident of North Reading, passed away Thursday after a brief illness. Known as Grandpa Ben, Dad and Benny, he was the glue that held his family and friends together. His support, love and kindness extended beyond his five children, their spouses and his grandchildren to his long-time friends, new friends and total strangers. Ben was a standout coach, volunteer, fundraiser, alumnus and community member, all the while humble and humorous. He had a remarkable ability to befriend anyone and to bring people together. He built and maintained lifelong friendships including those with his high school classmates, fellow Marines, fraternity brothers, church community and fellow North Reading residents.

Ben graduated from Reading High School in 1950 and was NROTC at Tufts, where he graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering in 1954. More significantly, at Tufts he met the love of his life and wife of 64 years, Judith L. Lundegren. They were married in 1954, moved to Virginia and California for Ben’s service in the US Marines, then settled in North Reading in 1957 to raise their five children. Ben and Judy’s most treasured retreat was their cottage on Lake Winnipesaukee, which hosted a mix of friends and family all summer long. Ben was known for initiating large card games, teaching everyone to water ski, organizing huge family dinners and captaining boat rides. Lovers of nature, Ben and Judy donated 92 acres of land in Marlow, New Hampshire to the Monadnock Conservancy in 2013.

In North Reading, Ben was an active community member in both town government and youth sports. He served as Selectman, Chairman of the Board of Selectmen, and Chairman of the Housing Authority. In the 1960s, he led the initiative for what would become North Reading Youth Hockey. He was a youth hockey coach until 1977 when he took over the North Reading High School team, taking them to the state finals at the Boston Garden in 1978. A loyal Tufts Jumbo, Ben coached his alma mater’s club hockey team, and brought it to varsity status. He coached from 1986 – 1992 and was named ECAC Division III Coach of the Year in 1988. His dedication to Tufts continued, serving as President of the Jumbo Club (2000-2002), Class Reunion Committee Chair, and Vice President of the Alumni Association. In 2001 Ben founded Friends of Tufts Hockey to protect the varsity status of the hockey team. Ben stayed involved in Tufts Hockey by scouting at local rinks and heading up fundraising efforts. Tufts awarded Ben its Distinguished Service Award in 2001. The Tufts Hockey team further honored him in 2009, naming the Tufts Hockey locker room for him. In 2018 at the Tufts Hall of Fame ceremony, Ben was awarded the first annual Tufts Brown and Blue award in recognition of his significant contributions to Tufts’ Athletics.

Ben was not only a dedicated coach, but an accomplished athlete himself. After his college hockey days as a defenseman at Tufts, he played squash and was a ranked tennis player. Ben was an early enthusiast of triathlons in the 1980s before moving on to rowing, then competed for over ten years in the Ernestine Bayer event during the Head of the Charles. He continued to row in the waters around Melvin Bay on Lake Winnipesaukee throughout his life.

Ben was also a devoted humanitarian. A member of the Church of the Good Shepherd in Reading since 1957, Ben served in a variety of roles including Senior Warden and Church Clerk. Ben was always ready to help, whether it was tidying up for an upcoming wedding, visiting church members or spearheading a fundraising activity. For 13 years, Ben and Judy’s main humanitarian focus was in Guatemala. They raised money and collected toys, then traveled there each year to deliver them to impoverished children.

In addition to his wife Judy, Ben leaves his children Thyra Sherman and her husband Andy of Andover, Biff (Benjamin) Sands and his wife Brenda of Chester, NH, Douglas Sands and his wife Marie of Manchester, NH, Carey (CB) Sands-Bohrer and her husband Tom of Concord, MA, and Kim Chabot and her husband Mark of Suwanee, Georgia. He also leaves twelve grandchildren: Jay, Brad and Liz Sherman; Benjamin Sands and Taylor Sands-Marcinkowski; Russell, Kevin, Eric and Brian Sands; and Sally, Sabrina and Si Bohrer; as well as two step-grandchildren, Nick and Amanda Chabot. He also leaves his brother, Loring B. Sands and many nieces and nephews.

Visiting hours will be held on Friday, January 18 from 3-7 PM, with services on Saturday at 10 AM . Both visiting hours and the service will be at the Church of the Good Shepherd, 95 Woburn Street in Reading, MA. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Vamos Adelante, a nonprofit serving indigenous families in rural in Guatemala. Checks can be sent to 41 W. 655 Main St. Road, Elburn, Illinois, 60119. Arrangements are by the Croswell Funeral Home, 19 Bow Street, North Reading. www.croswellfuneralhome.com

20 thoughts on “Benjamin F. Sands, Jr.”

  4. Losing some great people ……lost my dad almost a month ago and now you Mr. Sands. Lots of memories from our neighborhood of old…….too many great memories of you to mention. Most especially…….the love for your wife and children….you were smart, and funny and kind. I remember the times spent on sleepovers with Thyra, many a time, and you were still cuddling with your wife Judy when it was breakfast time, as well as chatting and talking to your kids too……..I always enjoyed the love you and family exuded……and also payed forward to us friends of your kids. You made a deep impact, you and your beloved wife/family on mine and others lives in the Upton Ave. neighborhood. Memories are God’s way of putting life’s best moments in our brains. Yours will always be in mine. Godspeed!

  6. A wonderful man who made this world a better place. My deepest sympathy. Betty Singleton-Stall

  7. So sorry for your loss Thyra, what a wonderful Husband, Dad, and grandfather. You have so many memories to cherish and share with your family.

  9. Ben was one of the things I loved my most about my time working at Tufts. He was a legend. Bumping into him at the gym, at an event, or in my office when he came to make reunion calls… he always had a story to tell about his family, the camp in NH, and his amazing travels to Guatemala. He introduced me to his pals from the Class of 1954 and I was honored be there when he led his class in donating books to the Brooks School in Medford in honor of their 50th reunion. He never once laughed at me when I tried my best to swing a golf club at the Friends of Tufts Hockey outings. It is so fitting that Ben always brought me chocolates at the holidays, because he was one of the sweetest men I’ve ever known. I will truly miss him.

    1. This morning I learned about Ben’s passing and was deeply saddened by the news. I had the unique privilege of playing under and coaching alongside Ben for the better part of fifteen years. During those coaching years, we frequently carpooled together to practices and games, strategizing over hockey, but more importantly talking about life in general. As wonderful as he may have been as a hockey coach, he was infinitely better at providing sound instruction in the game of life. When I think about what is good and meaningful in the world and the lessons I often share with my own sons, so much circles back to Ben Sands and the way he lived his life. If ever there were a template to emulate for living a rich, decent and fulfilling life, the hand producing it would read Ben Sands. Thank you for enriching our lives and may God bless you and your entire family.

  10. There are no words that can fully capture the emotions. “Uncle” Ben is an amazing man, someone that I have looked up to in love and respect my whole life. I have such good memories of times at the lake with the Sands family, especially 4th of July and water-skiing. My heartfelt love and prayers go out to the whole family. Judy and Brud feel the same way and send you all much love. May God’s grace & love be with you in a special way over these next days and weeks, Tammy

  11. Sincere condolences. I feel a great sense of loss at Ben’s passing. He was a very quiet but efficient hero to everyone he knew. He was an inspiration and one who knew and practiced the art of humility and leadership. He will be missed. He will be remembered long after. God Bless, Ben.

  14. I was blessed to have been able to work so closely with Ben during my time at Tufts. My favorite alumni volunteer, I have him to thank for most of my career successes. He was one of the primary reasons no job will ever bring me more joy than the one I had at Tufts for those 8 years. He taught me the power of the human spirit, the transformative power of kindness – he was an inspiration to so many, myself especially.

    The love that Ben had for his wife Judy was magical to witness- and he would credit all that he was to her, with her of course saying the same for him. I loved hearing the story of how they met and fell in love on campus.
    There was a dance-off at my wedding during the anniversary dance for who was married the longest – Nate’s grandparents or Ben and Judy. Ben and Judy lost by a couple years, but Ben fist pumps and high-fives everyone leaving the dance floor anyway. I have never in my life met a man with more compassion for others, most zest for life, more love for his friends and family. You will never forget you Ben. I will be sure to Pay It Forward in your honor. You will be so missed.

  15. Thoughts and prayers to the Sands family.
    Thank you for your service Sir.
    RIP Coach Sands, the father of North Reading Hockey

  16. All my sympathy to the entire Sands family. As a neighbor of Ben and Judi in Melvin Village for many years I was deeply saddened by his passing. A true gentleman and straight shooter, a deep thinker and all around good guy. I enjoyed watching Ben row early most every morning in the summer. He helped me get into rowing as well by giving me an old pair of oars he no longer needed. A great member of our Melvin Gardens comunity he will be missed. God speed my friend.

  17. Ben and I were fraternity brothers at Tufts, graduating in 1954. We enjoyed many fraternity projects together throughout the four years we were students. In fact we double dated on occasion. Over the years as I lived away from the Medford location Ben was always available to keep me advised of local Tufts activities that occurred as I lived in other parts of the country; both as a member of the USAF and industry. My wife and myself will miss Ben’s friendly and helpful assistance to follow life in the Tufts community over the years. He was certainly an irreplaceable friend. May he rest in peace.

  18. Ben Sands was my hockey coach in the early 70s Rest in peace. You will always be remembered! Dave Anderson

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